3 Ways to Cope with Anxiety & Overwhelm

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Overwhelm and anxiety can stem from various sources, such as work responsibilities, relationship stress, traumatic experiences, and more. It's crucial to accept and identify these feelings rather than ignore or deny them.

By acknowledging our overwhelm and anxiety, we can reduce feelings of shame or guilt and begin to take control. Focusing on what we can control is another important step. Instead of fixating on uncontrollable factors, we can redirect our attention and prioritize the things within our power.

Additionally, taking breaks and engaging in activities we enjoy can help alleviate stress and create space for relaxation. Finally, seeking professional help is highly recommended for those who continue to struggle with overwhelm and anxiety. These strategies offer a roadmap for managing and reducing these overwhelming feelings.

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TRANSCRIPT:

Host/Lisa: You are you wondering how to deal with feeling overwhelmed or anxious? Then you'll want to tune in to today's episode.

Feeling overwhelmed, unfortunately, is part of today's society. We're overwhelmed with the incredibly long list of to do's every single day, running kids to activities, making sure that there's groceries in the fridge, checking on our parents. The list is endless.

So today I want to dive into some practical things that we can do to reduce those feelings of overwhelm and anxiety. If you find yourself asking, how can I stop the hamster wheel? Then trust me, you're not alone.

In a 2020 American Psychological association study, 60% of participants reported feeling overwhelmed by the number of issues that the world is currently facing. Now remember that this was in the middle of the pandemic, so things have changed. But we have got issues going on all over the world. We've got wars, we've got famines. Life is stressful, especially when we turn on the news. And stress doesn't discriminate. It impacts everyone, regardless of age, gender, race, or location.

So here's a friendly reminder. Though it's not always easy, it is possible to learn skills for coping with overwhelm and anxiety.

So let me share a story with you. Imagine waking up with your heart beating so hard and so fast, and you feel so nauseous and you're scared out of your mind. So you go to the bathroom and your body is not acting normally. You go back to the bedroom and you shake your husband awake because you're certain that you're going to die. Your back is on fire. But then your husband rolls over and mutters something like, panic attack. And imagine thinking, no, I'm certain I'm going to die. This is definitely an emergency. This isn't in my head.

Or like another time when you drop your preschooler off and then you have to drive yourself to the emergency because your heart is beating so fast and so out of control. I remember laying on the examination table and being checked out very thoroughly, wearing a heart monitor, watching my heart beat across the screen. And I remember my heart rate being clocked at over 200 beats a minute. I remember when I was a competitive rower many, many moons ago and training really hard several times a day and not being able to achieve heart rates like that.

I thought for sure there was something wrong with me. I went for all the follow up. I did all the things only to learn that I suffered from anxiety. This, my friends, is what panic attacks look like.

So what causes this anxiety or this overwhelm? There are so many causes of stress and overwhelm, some of which include work responsibilities, relationship stressors, traumatic experiences, financial worries, political issues, environmental warnings, and health concerns.

Each person has different stress level thresholds, and nobody handles stress the same as you do. We're all different. What overwhelms One person may not bother the next person, but it's still important to try out different coping mechanisms to see what works for you. Because here's what I've learned. If you have even one panic attack, chances are you're going to have more until you get it under control.

And the only way to get it under control is to start learning some of these healthy coping mechanisms. So it's kind of a vicious cycle. You really need to get on top of it.

So, based on my own experience and what I've learned, I've outlined three simple things that we can all do when our anxiety and overwhelm are starting to take us under.

Number one, accept your feelings and more importantly, identify them. I think when we can identify them and say, oh, yeah, I'm having a panic attack, that that gives us a little bit of power. Because when we feel like things are happening out of our control and we don't know what the heck's going on, that is really frightening. Ignoring or denying your overwhelm and anxiety isn't going to help. It'll just bubble under the surface until you have no choice but to see it and to deal with it. Instead, acknowledge the fact that you feel overwhelmed and anxious and try and acknowledge any negative thoughts. I used to beat myself up in the middle of a panic attack. I would call myself stupid and lame. What's wrong with you? Get a hold of yourself. Quit being such a dummy and a sissy. Don't do that. You're not helping the situation. Try not to judge yourself for what you're feeling. Being nonjudgmental and accepting your feelings will help reduce any feelings of shame or guilt, because you shouldn't have those. You shouldn't have those. Don't feel guilty for being a human and having feelings.

Number two, focus on what you can control. Now, I know this seems obvious, but in the middle of a panic attack, sometimes we forget. It's easy to focus on all the things that are out of our control. We mentioned them before. Politics, wars, maybe our health, maybe our loved ones health, and so many other things. But doing so has the potential to increase our anxiety. But what about the things that we do have control over? The next time you worry about something that's out of your hands, attempt to redirect your attention to something that is within your power. Now, I know this might be easier said than done, but the practice of letting go of the uncontrollable can be worth your while. Let me tell you about my experience. What I started doing was I would literally ask myself every day, what is life or death that I must do today? I. E. Is the world going to end? Will anybody die if I don't get these particular things done? And 99.99% of the time there was nothing that was life or death on my list. Then I would ask, what is the next highest priority? And this would be things like feeding the kids, making sure that we had clean clothes, making sure that there were groceries in the fridge. So I really tried to prioritize what really needed to be done. Just because I had a list of 15 things did not mean I had to do them all. But it took conscious thinking. Making a point of thinking, is this life or death? Is this really important? Could this other thing be moved to another list altogether?

And number three, take breaks and do what you enjoy. We live in a society that doesn't exactly prioritize rest or self care. Most of us work a full day, get home, eat dinner, shower, do chores, and get ready for bed. Then we repeat that process the next day and the next until we get a slice of relaxation on the weekend. That is, if we're not busy playing catch up from the week before. Intentionally setting time aside to take breaks can reduce the amount of stress and overwhelm you feel from feeling on all the time. Even a 15 minutes stretch break during the workday or a trip to your favorite place to watch the sunset can really help. And for heaven's sakes, plan some fun into your schedule. If you're like me, I love to strike things off my to do list. So the longer my to do list is, the more I get to strike things off of it. I have a bad habit sometimes of sneaking into my home office in the evening just to do a few things and end up working for at least an hour, if not more. Don't do what I do. I must stop this. It's not healthy. Instead, take this time to have a coffee with a friend, do yoga, bake a cake, play sports, do something that brings you joy.

And I also have a bonus tip for you. Speak with a therapist. If you've tried all these coping mechanisms and you're still feeling overwhelmed, you probably need some extra help. And there's no shame in that. I went for help. Just sitting down with someone in a nonjudgmental space and speaking my anxieties out loud. It made me feel the ridiculousness of the amount of expectation I was putting on myself. I wanted to be super mom. I wanted to be the best wife. And I put that on me. Nobody else put that on me except myself. And I'm not saying that that's what you're trying to do. But when I sought professional help, it helped me on so many different levels. It didn't just help with the expectations I was putting on myself. It helped me ask for help. It helped me involve the kids in what needed to be done around the house and so on and so forth. So it gave me a lot of other tools. So things that we would talk about, and I feel silly actually telling you this, but we would discuss, did the garage really need to be cleaned out and Marie condoed before the snow fell? Did I really need to have a freezer full of just in case meals? No, I didn't. None of this was life and death. All of this was bonus, bonus, bonus. Like if it gets done? If it ever gets done, great. But does any of it need to be done? No. What I needed to do was stop putting things on my darn to do list. And I needed to start blocking out me time. And I needed to learn how to relax. I'm still working on that one, by the way.

So what are your next steps? Stress affects all of us differently. Sometimes it comes in from personal sources like relationships or work, and other times it comes from other things, like politics or social justice.

So let's summarize the three things that you can do to help you reduce feelings of overwhelm and anxiety. One, accept your feelings, identify them. Two, focus on what you can control. Three, take breaks and do something you enjoy. And four, our bonus tip. Seek help.

I really hope that this episode has been helpful for you, and I hope that you can start scheduling some more me time as well. Thanks for listening. Be well and stay resilient.

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