Joe Alvarez - From Addiction to High Performance Coach

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Website: Joealvarezcoaching.com

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TRANSCRIPT:

Lisa/host: How do you go from an addict asking for money to a high level performance coach? Today's guest, Joe Alvarez, is going to share his story of adversity and resilience. Welcome to rising strong mental health and resilience. I'm Lisa, and until 2015, I had a pretty charmed life. Then everything fell apart when I lost my daughter in a car accident and found myself in the darkest spot imaginable. Rather than let grief take me down and destroy me, I seek out inspiring people like Joe to keep me going. Joe is a coach and expert in subconscious self transformation who helps people all over the world transform their lives and businesses. This fall, I saw today's guest, Joe Alvarez, speak at an event. It was the we see you mental health event in Regina. He only spoke for 15 or 20 minutes, but I was drawn to his story and I knew I wanted to share it with all of you. Welcome to the show, Joe.

Joe: Thank you. Glad to be here.

Lisa/host: So, people look at you now as a peak performance and mindset coach and may assume that you have never struggled, that you just had everything all figured out. But it wasn't always that way. Tell us about your life before your pivotal change.

Joe: Sure. Thank you for that. Thanks for the question. And it's interesting, right? I mean, people look at me now and assume that I've never struggled. And I would just invert that, right? And saying, because I did struggle, that's why I have a pretty good life today. I mean, it's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it is a life beyond the wildest dreams that I could ever drum up once upon a time. I grew up, born and raised in Saskatchewan to immigrant parents from the Philippines. Father's side are all spaniard descents to give all the listeners an image or a vision. I mean, I grew up with a circle of friends where know had a deeper tan than everybody else. And to keep a long story short, from a very young age, I didn't feel quite comfortable in my skin. And for me, there was being a class clown. There was being a funny guy, being the daredevil. And then ultimately, fast forward. I got introduced to alcohol, and that seemed to work for me, where the feelings of insecurity, not being good enough, not being tall enough, funny enough, good looking enough, white enough, seemed to have disappeared upon the ingestion of alcohol. And so when I got introduced to the effect of that, for me, it seemed to quote unquote, work, meaning it was a solution to the problems that ailed me. I had a really good childhood growing up my family were amazing, and I know that they did the best that they can with the resources that they had and all of their history and their baggage. I did experience abuse when I was young, sexual abuse as I was young, that had a huge impact on me as well. And I began to lead this life where I wanted to present to the world a stage character that I knew in my heart I didn't deserve. And that would call for more alcohol and eventually drugs. And in my addiction just took off to new levels and new heights. I had moved all over the country. I'd moved down to the Caribbean. I tried to change all the external environments, be it groups of friends, cities, schools, jobs, girlfriends. And I always found myself in the same place feeling lonely, despaired, riddled with fear, regret, shame, and continuous addiction. So, yeah, that's how my life was before. Towards the end, it was very bad. And for people that know me or listeners that know me, they might find it hard to believe. But at the was, I can remember very distinctly being outside a shoppers drug Mart in, know, begging for money because I didn't have any. It was a pretty low spot in my life. In the same token, Lisa, it's know, when I look back on that today, it's like, I am absolutely grateful for that. Why? Because I wouldn't know the level of freedom and happiness that I know now if it weren't for the pain and suffering that I experienced.

Lisa/host: Isn't that the truth? I mirror those words exactly. So here you were outside the shoppers drug mart in Montreal asking for money. You ended up in the hospital at some point. Can you tell us about that?

Joe: Yeah. So it wasn't long after that. It must have been within 24 hours after that, or 48 hours, I ended up in the hospital. October 2, 2006. Not in good shape. My lungs were collapsing. I hadn't slept in about eight days, almost as a result from substances and alcohol and whatnot. Hadn't bathed, hadn't eaten, was going into a bit of a psychosis. But I ended up in the hospital in really not good shape. Just to put it plainly, the way that I ended up there, I probably shouldn't be speaking to you now. Obviously, the universe had other plans for me, but the day that I ended up there. So I'm 170 pounds soaking wet. I'm lacking any luster in my skin. I mean, I'm pale, my eyes are just hollow. I've got tubes coming out of me, and I'm in this hospital gown because I had tried to get sober before, to no avail. But the idea came wilt, being in the hospital and on my hospital bed. There's got to be some sort of divine intervention that needs to happen with me, because the way that I was living my life was for the purposes of leaving here. And I sat up in my hospital bed and I looked at the nurse, and I said, nurse, could you tell me where the chapel is? I'm not a practicing religious person. Not that there's anything wrong with that. We all have our own subjective beliefs. I did grow up with religion, however. And that day, in that moment, I knew I just needed something greater than me. There was a level of humility that I had never touched before, meaning the way that I look at humility is just about being right sized. You're not better, you're not worse. You're just exactly where you're at. And there was another depth of honesty that happened, which was a moment of clarity, which I got to see my life for, what it really was, what it had really become. I asked the nurse where the chapel was. In the hospital. It's in the Montreal general. And she said, Mr. Alvarez, you're an intensive care unit. You should probably stay here. And I said, ma'am? And I demanded, please tell me where the Chapel is. And she pointed me in that direction, and I went into that chapel that day, Lisa. And as soon as I crossed the threshold of the doors to enter it, I buckled to my knees and I wept like I hadn't wept. Not cried. I wept like I hadn't wept before. I don't know exactly what happened. Like, I could put some language to it to try to describe it to you, but I think the experience in itself was ineffable, difficult to describe with words. What I've come to believe is spiritual in nature. And I basically said something to the effect of, like, if there is some sort of creative intelligence, God source, whatever you want to call it, if that exists, would you give me another chance at this thing called life? And I will serve you to the day I leave this body. Within less than 24 hours, a man came to see me, a man who had openly shared his journey with recovery and sobriety and whatnot. He took me by the hand, and that's where my journey began. Really? That's incredible.

Lisa/host: I've got goosebumps from head to toe thinking about that ask and that delivery. Sometimes we just have to ask.

Joe: Yeah, often we don't ask. Yeah, often. The problem is not that we don't receive as we don't ask.

Lisa/host: So after rehab, you quickly began to thrive in roles where you served others and were climbing the corporate ladder with great success.

Joe: I had gotten a job in a big tech company, telecom companies, a customer service agent. So literally, it'd be like I was, the guy was saying, hi, Lisa, thank you for calling. You know, how can I help you? I quickly progressed in that organization up to the highest position that you could have in that field. So I was making lots of money and winning presidents, clubs, trips, the accolades. I had a book of really good clients, very fortune, 501,000 clients, and I was doing very, very well. So basically what happened is I started to get this idea or this question, and the question was like, am I really happy doing this? And I would put that aside based on, I guess, the external validation that I was getting, I. E. My results, the money I was making, the accolades, the rewards, et cetera. And then six months later, down the track, I would ask it again, where it come up again. And then I would start to lose a bit of motivation, the drive that, I really wonder what that was about. And then it got to the place where I just really didn't enjoy it. And I was sitting in a boardroom meeting with a bunch of executives, and essentially what happened was I noticed all these people talking about the technology. I noticed how passionate they were. And I was like, this isn't the place for me. This is not what I want to do anymore. This is just my experience. I wouldn't necessarily recommend this to anybody. But what I did is I messaged my boss, well, in that meeting, and I went to go see him, and I said, I can't do this anymore. To which he responded, that's okay. We'll take the day off. And I said, no, I don't think you understand. I cannot do this anymore. I was searching for more. I think us as human beings, Lisa, we're like onions, right? There's so many layers to us. And in my own personal experience, when I was living in this world of drug addiction, I was thinking from a consciousness of, like, me, me, very selfish. Not thinking about consequence, not thinking about the future. I want what I want when I want it now. And I started to realize my mortality. And from that, I went into rehab, which gave me structure. There was a system that was put in place in order for me to abide by. And then going into the corporate world was the same thing. Like, I learned systems. I learned how to work now to get later. I learned how to do the right thing. I put that in air quotes, the right thing. But then, as I was continually growing, because in parallel with my career in the corporate space, I had a spiritual practice by which I was intentionally practicing in terms of my own growth. And when you choose to consciously or intentionally expand, to grow, to transform, I started to question who I was and what I wanted. And so there was a little light in me about, I think you're meant to do something different. I think you're meant to do something more. So I left that job without having any plan. Lisa, where did this lead?

Lisa/host: That's very brave for you to leave a job with no further plan.

Joe: What's important to mention is it led me within. First of all, I had to pose the question, like, what do I want to do? And I sat with that for a couple of months. What is it that lights me up? What is it that excites me? What is it that I want to do? What kind of mark do I want to leave in this world? What am I good at? I had the opportunity to share my story about my recovery and about my addiction to thousands of people. That really lit me up. So then I was like, okay. I was like, I'm going to help people. This is what I want to do. I want to help people in the recovery world. And so I started to go into that direction. And I was sitting at home watching a tv show called intervention. I don't know if you've ever seen that before, but, yeah, okay. So I was watching one of these moments, and I just was just crying. And I was like, that's what I want to do. And I found the contact of the interventionist on the show, and I called him up, and I said, hi, my name is Joe Alvarez. You don't know me, but here's my deal. And he was so gracious to give me the time. And he said to me, joe, one of our satellite offices are in Montreal. It's one of the biggest rehab centers in Canada. And he said, go visit this woman. Talk to her about it. And I went to talk to her about it and got information, went back, went back inside. Is this what I want to do? And then I had this realization that if anybody knows anything about addiction, addiction to the substances is really just a symptom of a deeper problem. It's not really the problem per se, albeit it becomes a problem, but it's not really the problem. It's a symptom of a problem. And then I had this realization, Lisa, that. Hold on 1 second. Lots of people have these problems. The deeper problems, they just don't have the same symptomology. Right. So they don't go and use illicit drugs or drink alcohol in the ways that I did, but they procrastinate, or they hold themselves back, or they don't believe in themselves, or they just kind of pass the time by and watch life go by without actually doing something that enriches their lives or that they're passionate about. I said, oh. I said, okay, well, then I need to have a different toolkit so that I can help a wider range of people as opposed to just being in a recovery world. And the moment that I made that decision, and you can probably attest to this, but in my model of my world, when I make decisions that are congruent, that are honest, that are from the depths of my being, the universe will conspire to support that. And that's what happened. And then all of a sudden, I came out of meditation one day, having this thought, and then the phone rang. This woman who was calling me about a completely different matter, I knew she had gone to some coaching school, and I said, hey, didn't you go to this coaching school? She said, yes, I did. And that coaching school was like three blocks from my house, which I'd never been. Become aware of it before. Now. I was aware of it. I went to an introductory weekend there, and then I was off to Atlanta to share my story about recovery, telling my story about this, and someone come up to me and says, I know somebody who trains people to become coaches, et cetera. And then it's just a domino effect, and here we are.

Lisa/host: Do you think that that all really began just by being open to the idea? What do you think flipped the switch with the universe?

Joe: When a decision is made that is earnest and honest and from the depths of it's a heartfelt decision, our feelings are magnetic. And when we broadcast that out into the universal field, the universe will reflect that, right? The feeling of being so excited to help people transform, change, grow their lives to better, more meaningful lives, that just excited me. And so the universe reflected that.

Lisa/host: Hey, rising strong listeners. If you've been enjoying the inspiring interviews on the podcast, we'd love your support. To help us reach more listeners and hopefully gain some sponsorship. To do that, please, like, follow and subscribe wherever you listen to podcast. And here's a little extra incentive. Leave us a five star review, and you'll be entered to win some cool, rising strong swag. Your support means the world to me. Now back to the show. And I think when our actions align with our purpose, things just start to happen.

Joe: Yeah, it starts to happen. I believe that the things that start to happen were already available, but I became aware of it as a result of a course of action that I took. So it's like when I just gratefully became a father 19 months ago and when Lindsay was pregnant and I started to have this shift internally about becoming a father. Lisa, I could tell you every kind of stroller that was out there. Baby stroller, could tell you the ones that were for jogging, the ones with the big wheels, the smaller wheels, four wheels, three wheels, the ones that collapse with one hand. You needed two hands to collapse with a canopy? No canopy. You could add a seat. Not add a seat. Water bottle holder. No water bottle. Prior to that, I'd never noticed.

Lisa/host: Right.

Joe: But yet they were always there. It's about tuning into the frequency. It's about tuning into that which is already available to you. Maybe you've heard it before, maybe not. But it's just like when you're in your car, if you think about changing the radio station, the airwaves to the rock and roll radio station are there. You don't see them. They're out there, but you don't see them. The country station, the airwaves and frequency to that station is out there.

Lisa/host: You tune into it. It's being aware, but it's also choosing to tune in.

Joe: That's right.

Lisa/host: What do you think is the most important thing when it comes to rising above our challenges, whatever they may be?

Joe: I think before rising above them, transcending them, getting over them, it starts with a level of acceptance. And here's the reason why. The more we resist a challenge in our lives, whatever the challenge is, whatever the adversity is, whatever the obstacle is, the more we resist, it persists. So the more I resist an obstacle or a challenge, the more I'll suffer with that. The moment that I get to a place of acceptance. Now, when I say acceptance, it doesn't mean that you need to like what's going on. It doesn't mean that it needs to stay that way. But the moment that I accept it, then I can start employing some actions to change it.

Lisa/host: I agree, and I see that in the work that I do as well. Mindset is a big part of the work that you do. What is mindset and how do you change that when you're at the lowest point in your life?

Joe: Well, let's just say, let me start by saying that mindset is a buzzword, right? It really is a buzword. A lot of people talk about mindset and get your mindset right. And have a positive mindset. And I agree with all that. But sometimes when it becomes a buzword, we lose the essence of it, right. We lose the importance or the understanding of what it really is. Mindset is about how we internally experience the external world along with our own thoughts and self talk. There's a famous saying, I might botch it. I believe it's Wayne Dyer. He says, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. But the question is, how do you change the way you look at things? What is our capacity, ability, capability of being able to change the way we look at things? And so mindset is all about that.

Lisa/host: I wanted to circle back, and I wanted to ask you if asking yourself some of these questions about your values and your beliefs and your mindset, et cetera, if these came into play earlier on in your journey or if these came later.

Joe: Well, in my journey, let me just go from the journey of when I got sober and I began my process of recovery. That's when these things started to come in. The questions around these started to come in mastery with these things, it'll take a lifetime. I mean, I have so much knowledge and training and experience and wisdom with all of these things, and yet I know that I'll be mastering them for the rest of my life. So, again, what I said earlier is like, we're like onions, and we peel back layers, and there's so many layers to us. And as we move along and we change our lives and we grow or we expand, our mindset will change.

Lisa/host: I feel like, as human beings, we are here to grow. You know, Joe, it took me a while to come to this place or this mindset of acceptance after our daughter Katie died in a car accident. But eventually, I moved into a mindset of growth, I guess you could say by asking myself, what now? How can I be a better human and honor my daughter's life? But, man, it's hard.

Joe: It is uncomfortable. I mean, sometimes it's quite simple not to be confused with easy. I want to make that distinction. Right. It's simplistic in the practical sense, but it's, like, far from being easy. And I can't even imagine me becoming a father recently. Right? I cannot imagine your experience. And yet I find it so inspiring that you had brought yourself to a place of choosing to view that in the way that you just expressed. Because the way that I live my life, and this is choice. This is a choice, is that everything happens for me and in my highest good now, it is a choice that I operate from that mindset. It is probably not something that I can prove to you, like I can prove a line between a and b. And yet I have so much evidence that it has been so in my life.

Lisa/host: I do agree with you, Joe. I have come to that place as well, that I feel know I'm a spirit going through this human existence and that it's my role in this lifetime grow. And unfortunately, my soul needed to learn what losing a child was like. And I have not enjoyed this class a whole lot. I wish I could get a refund on this class, but I believe that it is my soul's purpose, and it is my choice what I do with it. I do believe that my daughter in heaven deserves more than to have lived her life in vain. And it is a choice. Hard things are a choice, but it is what we do with it. For those who might be listening, and maybe they're at their lowest point, what advice do you have for them?

Joe: It doesn't need to stay that way. Right. So nothing is permanent. It will pass. It will pass. And any advice that I could provide is pay attention to the stories that you're telling yourself and the questions that you're posing yourself. Right. So part of having a healthy mindset is to be able to pose better questions. If we want a better quality of life, start by posing better quality of questions. So instead of, like, why is this happening to me? Why am I here again? How come this. I have to go through this, just switch up the questions? Like, what is it that I need to learn in this? How is this making me grow? What do I need to pay attention to? Who could help me with this? When we just switch around our questions, it starts to open up a whole different world.

Lisa/host: Do you ever reverse engineer things in your life? Do you ever think, I want to be at this spot, doing this thing and work backwards from there?

Joe: I absolutely do. Yeah, I do that all the time. Most people work from this paradigm. If I just have XYZ, then I will be able to do XYZ, and then I will be XYZ. So if I just have a lot of money, then I could do all these things, then I'll be happy, right? But this is backwards. This is what I call living your life backwards. This is working from the outside in. And so what I like to do is, I like to work from the inside out. Let's just keep it really simple. If I wanted to have, I don't know, $100,000 in the next couple of months, I'd ask myself, if I had it already, how would I be being? Who would I be being? Right. Because it's the beingness that creates the doingness, which creates the havingness.

Lisa/host: I love that. What does resilience mean to you?

Joe: Resilience is not about resisting the challenges or obstacles or suffering, but rather the ability to bend to it without quote unquote, breaking. I know sometimes some people we seemingly seem broken, but we're not. It feels that way, but we're not.

Lisa/host: Right?

Joe: Perhaps. Maybe the strategies we've been employing are broken, but we in of ourselves are not broken. So it's this ability to have flexibility in our behavior, right. It's this ability to bend without breaking it.

Lisa/host: What kind of tools and strategies have helped you become more resilient?

Joe: Well, meditation has helped me. There are some different spiritual practices that have helped me. I am trained at a master level of neurolinguistic programming which know basically a manual to the mind. So how do we use the language of the mind to create the results that we want? Hypnosis has been a big help for me in not the hypnosis that most that Hollywood has done a disservice to bark like a dog or, but really the ability of learning how to work with the subconscious part of our minds, which essentially run our lives. But the ability to learn how to do that has been very helpful as well.

Lisa/host: If people want to learn more about your coaching services or ask you questions, where is the best place for them to do that?

Joe: They can look me up on Facebook. Joe Alvarez, or they could go to my website, joealvarescoaching.com.

Lisa/host: Perfect. I'm sure lots of people will be checking you out after this. Joe, your story is a testament to the incredible strength that lies in all of us. You've shown us that regardless of the adversity we face, we all have the power to rise strong. Thank you so much for being a guest on the rising strong mental health and resilience podcast.

Joe: Thank you for having me, Lisa.